Winning and Losing

Someone has surely written a book on the subject of the psychology behind winning and losing. One day I intend to find that book and read it. Today I want to talk from personal experience.

I like to win, but I hate losing.

I did not say "I love to win and hate to lose". Love and hate can come in varying degrees, but without any other quantifier, you'd place love and hate at opposite ends of the spectrum, or as counteracting forces. Like vs. Hate is no contest. Hate overwhelms Like in a hurry. Only Love can combat Hate on an equal footing.

Maybe every coach feels this way, or maybe it's just me. I think the idea initially came to mind after hearing an excerpt of a speech from some top college b-ball coach among the caliber of Kryzyzewski, Knight, Pitino et al. It wasn't Wooden or Dean Smith, but I can't put my finger on who it was. Regardless, the unidentified coach shared the sentiment. A loss is a lower valley than a win is a pinnacle.

I suppose one coach in each division of basketball feels differently: the national champion, state champion, conference champion ... that coach that wins the final game of his postseason, the game at the end of the schedule where no further possibility of advancement exists. Once you win that big one, you hit the pinnacle. But you don't live there. If you continue to coach, you will lose again, and you'll be back in the cycle.

This creates the existentialist's question: why do it if it ultimately leads to more sorrow than joy? For me, the answer is that I love the game. Yes, love. I love to see players develop. I love to see joy in their faces after a hard-fought two-point win like we had last night, or after the overtime win last Friday night.

And ultimately, I end up caring for the players. As the season starts, I see players as chess pieces that, once aligned in the proper position and each using her skills and strengths at a high level of proficiency, give us an excellent chance of being successful. Then you see what motivates them, what makes them cry, what makes them fail, and you realize you're working with more than machines: these are carbon-based life forms that believe, and feel, and fatigue, and make mistakes, and sometimes perform better than you knew possible. And then you care for them as people. And ultimately, one day you can count these players among those that call you a friend.

But enough with all that: right now I see a team that is finding its identity and that is getting better in every practice and every game. I'm starting to think about a run in the state playoffs. And dare I say that the possibility of that pinnacle described above--winning the final game for which a team is eligible to play, a state title in this context--is becoming something that I'm willing to believe in.

Tonight, we took a step toward that pinnacle with a tough road win over what could be the toughest competition we'll see short of a state semifinal game. I've seen the other two contenders in our region play, and I think we can take them. We must now play without letdowns and continue to improve on ... what am I doing with all this coaching talk in here?!? I should save it for the locker room!